Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
