i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I have aggressive nipples.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
