So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
