i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
