So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
