I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
