I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
