I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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