if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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