Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
