THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
honey bunches of taint.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
