I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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