Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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