This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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