I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
where are my eyebrows?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
