Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
