But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
