So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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