you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
