break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
What's dad's email?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill