you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
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We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
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He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.