just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
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I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
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I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid