You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!