if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member