he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
