Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
