I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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