just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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