Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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