i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
