Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
