those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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