so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
