How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Apparently you make a good broom.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
