i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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