honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
