your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
