that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
