Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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