talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
