Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
