so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
