party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
