His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
