What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
