the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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