You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
