just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
