Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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