We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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