i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize