You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
