so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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