Rock
Scissors
Fuck
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
