bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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