At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
