Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize